This one's a bit too special to be spoken outloud, but it's precisely so that I wish to share it.
I used to see my differences as a burden. A cruel mockery of the heart who wished to connect and stop being driven by the fear of loneliness.
I don't see myself with such hateful eyes anymore, only haunted by the nights my heart feels the weight of its carved out paths.
It's not solely because of one singular matter that I can hold myself kindly. Many stories, people, experiences have tied a knot to the pieces that make my soul, I am fortunate enough to have felt their healing touch... their welcoming embrace to know joy in my existence.
So tonight I'd like to give gratitude to the story that has allowed me to stop fearing being everything I yearn for.
The thoughts of overbearing, lousy, embarrassing showoff have mostly been silenced by your inspiration. Though I know it's a matter of fiction... I aspire to love life with the same hearth and smile that seeks to reach out I order to know the truth of it all.
I feel most seen by your passion. I feel most held by your words. And the parts of me I was most ashamed to cherish, today feels like the magic needed to bring colors to life.
Thank you Murr for making me feel like these strange parts that make me feel so foreign, are exactly who I need to be.
It's a strange feeling this one, holding myself with such excitement.
And although I still know shame and fear... These first steps are a welcomed light compared to the misery I thought necessary to be myself.